Trailer Talk
by Chibi Orochi-kun
Summary: NarXInu On a day like any other two friends sat in their trailer and talked over the important matters of life. Then, one of their crushes came in and destroyed their heart...leaving friends to teach that person a valueble lesson.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Inuyasha!

A/N: This is a crack fic! You have been warned! This is also a roundrobin with a freind of mine. You don't know them. And if you do, I'll kill you!

**Trailer Talk**

The click of a light switch was heard as two men of similar appearance walked into the mobile machine. Sitting side by side in front of two identical pieces of glass, they rubbed their eyes. The first, a man with long wavy black hair stretched, groaning as he did. He then reached on to the little table top in front of the glass. Picking up a wet cloth, he scrubbed his face. The second, a man with straight black hair to the middle of his back, yawned before reaching for a tube of ointment. Silence reigned over the two before the door opened and a person with a head set mic came in carrying two mugs of steaming morning goodness. After sipping their coffee, they began their morning routine with much more enthusiasm.

"So, how have you been Naraku?" A man with what appeared to be a long tongue asked.

"Fairly well, considering the people I have to put up with for a living."

"I hear you, some of the ones I work with are enough to split through my cream!"

"I know what you mean! I'm getting so fed up with the script. I mean, every time they have me on set, they try to kill me!" Shouted Naraku.

"Yeah, I hate my script too. They have me grab people with my tongue!" The man pointed to said appendage as he stuck it out.

"Gross!"

"I know! It takes forever to get the taste out!"

"You know, you could always try eating the raspberry lip cream. I've used it, having to breathe in the same air as Inuyasha so many times takes its toll."

"Thanks for the advice," His friend replied and started to search for something, "Hey, have you seen my eyelid liner?"

"Yes, I threw it out. It was doing nothing for your complection. Trust me," Naraku said with a sagely nod.

"If you say so..."

"Trust me, have I ever lied to you?"

"You do have a point. Anyway, how's your sister? Did she have her baby yet?"

"Yes, last night! A beautiful baby boy!" Naraku shouted as he began to brush his hair.

"Oh! You have to bring in pictures when you get some!"

"Sure, assuming she doesn't make me stay and give her a makeover. I swear, that woman has no fashion sense!" Naraku whinned.

"There there, I'm sure she'll get better. After all, she has a great teacher!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...now where is that musk?"

"Oh, we ran out remember Orochimaru?"

"I forgot, hand me the eye shadow please?" Oro pointed to the case.

Naraku handed it over, and then reached for the curling iron. "Can you help me get the back?"

"Of course!" Shouted Oro as he put down the eye shadow, he took the iron from Naraku and began curling.

"You are a live saver! I think I'll have to buy you some more eye shadow or something for this."

"You don't have to"

"But I want to."

"If you insist," Orochimaru nodded, smirking as he examined the finished work that was Naraku's hair.

"So, how is everyone treating you on set?" Asked Naraku as he pulled back his hair into a pony tail.

"Better then the crew, that's for sure." Oro began to apply his eye shadow.

"Oh really?" Naraku powdered his face.

"Hell yeah! The crew treats me like some gay freak and we both know I'm not gay, I'm bi."

"I know," Naraku sighed, "Everyone still gets that mixed up. I mean half say that Sesshomaru is gay, and the other says that he's straight."

"Why don't they just ask him?"

"I think their afraid he'll slice off their head or something."

"I wouldn't mind that..." Orochimaru said and blinked almost innocently.

"You are hopeless!" Naraku threw his hands up in the air and groaned.

"What? I can't help that I think Sesshomaru is hot!" Orochimaru retorted.

"I know! I know, but still." Naraku rubbed his temples.

"Hey, would you mind asking him if he's interested?" Oro whispered.

"Sorry but no. You're my friend and all but I would be so uncomfortable doing that."

"I understand. I can't believe people think I'm a pedophile and have interest in Sasuke. It's disgusting!" Shouted Oro in anger.

"Not as much as people who actually pair me with Kagura or Kagome in those fan fictions. I mean... Kagura's supposed to basically be like me or a daughter or something..."

"What about Kagome?"

"Well, a lot of people would be after my head if I really tried anything like that. I mean...if you don't count crossovers, then about three or more other guys!"

"Yeah, I can't stand fanfics! People either pair me up with Kabuto or Sasuke. I mean, I'm glad they get that I have an interest in men but those two? I wouldn't touch Kabuto with a ten foot pole!"

"Yeah, Yaoi is the worst. Those crazy girls pair me up with every guy under the freaking sun!" Naraku applied his eyeliner.

"I agree." Orochimaru put down the eye shadow, doing touch ups. "You do remember my birthday is coming up?"

"How could I not! I already have your present."

"Ooo, what is it?"

"That's a secret," Naraku laughed when Orochimaru pouted. "BUT...I can tell you that I've got you something very special."

"Ooo, Sesshomaru?"

Naraku twitched, "I told you...I am not going to do that."

"Damn...it was worth a shot though..."

Orochimaru stared at his mirror a moment, before a smirk popped up on his face. Glancing over at Naraku, he smiled.

"Oro, what are you thinking?" Asked Naraku nervously.

"I'm going to tickle my present out of you!" Oro pounced on Naraku and began tickling him. In the midst of their fight, the door opened. Both paused at the sight of Sesshomaru. He looked them, shook his head and grabbed his facial moisturizer off his makeup stand. Before he could leave, Oro caught his attention.

"Sesshomaru, can I ask you something?"

"If it's about my sexuality, I'm straight the last time I checked." Sesshomaru then left.

"But I could change you!"

"No." Sesshomaru said as he stopped and looked back.

"BUT I LOVE YOU!"

"No." Sesshomaru remained firm on his one word answer.

"Fine, I'm just going to go check on Kagome...I'm sure she'll talk to me..." Oro pouted and started for the door.

"Touch her and this Sesshomaru will have the pleasure of seeing your insides."

Naraku turned to Sesshomaru after Orochimaru left. "That was mean."

"And I'm supposed to care Naraku?" Asked Sesshomaru as he remembered he had to hunt for his face paint.

"We both know you're not straight. Why'd you have to go and break his heart?" Naraku began to put on his eye shadow.

"Because, I don't like that snake freak." Sesshomaru paused. "Have you seen my face paint?"

Naraku pointed behind him. "But he had just summed up his courage to ask you. You didn't have to be that cruel."

"It's what I live for. Besides, he shouldn't have brought Kagome up."

"He wouldn't have if you had just talked to him."

"That would be a waste of breath."

"So rude, I'm going to go find him and apologize for your behavior!" Naraku said as he slammed the trailer door.

"Perfect. Now I can find out where Naraku keeps his blue shadow..."

* * *

"I can't believe this! I had just gotten brave enough to ask and this happens! I'm never falling in love again!" Oro cried as Kagome patted his back.

"It'll be ok Oro, I'm sure you'll find someone else." Said Sakura in a hushed voice.

"Sakura is right Oro, don't feel so bad. This happens to everyone." Kagome continued to rub his back.

Oro just cried. "Now look, you're messing up your makeup." Said Sakura as she got a tissue for him.

Oro sniffed in pathetically and whipped his eyes. "Thanks girls, you are the best!" he gushed.

"Your welcome Oro-chan...just, forget about Sesshomaru for a while will you?" Sakura said as she picked him up.

"Yeah, forget about Fluffy...I think I'll go have a talk with that man," Kagome said she placed her hands on her hips in a purposely hilarious pose.

There was a knock at the door. "It's open!" Shouted Kagome as she offered cookies to her two guests.

"Kagome, is Oro in here?" Asked Naraku as he stepped in.

"Yeah, he told us what happened Kagome better have a stern talk with that demon!" Said Sakura, trying to lift the mood.

"Yeah, Sesshomaru admitted that being nice to Oro would be a waste of breath. I wanted to slap him!" Shouted Naraku as he sat down at accepted a cookie.

"Then you should have! I would not have been mad." Said Kagome as she continued to rub Oro's back.

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, after this I might just join in with you. Fluffy or not Fluffy, he does not get the right to make Oro cry!"

Naraku laughed at the fiery look on Kagome's face which caused her to blink.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm trying to figure how people have the two of you together so much."

"Well," Kagome gave a small smile, "It's better then Inuyasha...at least Sessho doesn't toss a boulder over the well."

As they mentioned Sesshomaru Oro let out a small whimper.

"Oh! I'm sorry Oro! I'm so sorry!" Kagome hugged him.

Oro continued to whimper. "Let me redo your makeup huh?" Asked Kagome trying to get a smile.

"Hey Naraku, why don't you go get his stuff and Kagome and I will finish up his face?" Asked Sakura as she grabbed more tissue.

"Alright." A few moments later, Naraku returned with several vials of makeup and a big black bag.

"Thanks, but what's in the bag?" Asked Kagome as she took the vials.

"Oro's birthday present, I thought he deserved to get it now." Naraku opened the bag and took out a purple and blue silk harori and hakama.

"OH Naraku!" Oro smiled and gripped the outfit tight to him. "Who told you?"

"Jakotsu...he said that he heard you talking about how you love my stage clothing."

"Remind me to thank Jak later," Oro mumbled and turned back to hugging the living daylights out of his present.

"Well, at least he's not crying anymore." Said Sakura as she grabbed the eye shadow.

Naraku sat back and watched as the girls redid Oro's makeup. Just as they finished, Sesshomaru walked through the door.

"You! You are in big trouble mister!" Shouted Kagome as she stood and stomped over to him.

"What have I done now?"

"You made Oro-chan cry!"

"This is different then making Inuyasha whimper?" Sesshomaru raised a brow, "Or anything else then I have done?"

"Yes!" Kagome said indignantly, "Oro did nothing but love you, and this is how you repay him? Huh Mister?"

"It's not my fault I'm not interested in guys." Said Sesshomaru innocently.

"That's a load of bull shit!" Shouted Kagome.

"I admen that then; it's not my fault I'm not interested in that guy."

"You could have let him down easier!"

"Why?" Sesshomaru questioned, "He was the one constantly asking me about my sexuality."

"Sesshomaru!" Kagome snapped, "I wish I had a spare set of those beads right now!"

Just then, Tsunade came in the door. "Kagome! The spares of the magic beads just came in." She held up one set.

"Hey Tsunade? Can I have those please?" Kagome asked with an evil glint in her eye. Tsunade tossed her the beads.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened in horror. "NOOOOO!" He turned to escape.

"Tsunade grab him!" Tsunade pulled the struggling demon into a super human hug, his arms pinned at his sides.

"NO! NO! NO!"

"YES!" all of them laughed evilly as Kagome placed the beads over Sesshomaru's thrashing head.

"Bad boy," and down Sesshomaru went. Although he didn't end up like Inuyasha, his tail was doing a funny twitching as it went back and forth.

No one could resist, they all laughed at him. Sesshomaru growled as they continued, even as he got up.

Suddenly, Inuyasha popped up in the door. "Who's laughing now!" He shouted as he fell into a fit of laughter before he was pounced by a pissed off Sesshomaru.

"So, mind telling me what happened before I got here?" Asked Tsunade as everyone began to calm down.

"That jerk made Oro cry!" Sakura glared at the mentioned party.

"And, I wanted to call out Bad Boy" -Sesshomaru landed in the position like earlier- "so he would fall down, but then I remembered I didn't have the beads."

"Haha! I guess it's a good thing I came in when I did." Said Tsunade as she glanced at Orochimaru.

"I can't believe that bastard was so cold hearted to make you cry Oro-chan!" She shouted as she gave Oro a super human hug.

"Awe, I'm better now. Thanks to Kagome and Sakura..." Oro mumbled and tried to breath right.

"Well, I'm just happy that you're all better!" all three girls said happily.

That was when Sesshomaru learned his greatest lesson, never make Oro Cry!


End file.
